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Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
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Source: brookecrossley

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bitesizedbethany-deactivated201

I smiled at the girl in the mirror today,
No pressure; No strings attached.
I smiled at the girl in the mirror today,
Despite her acne scars, and her outfit being mismatched.

I smiled at the girl in the mirror today,
And she tried to hide her pain.
I smiled at the girl in the mirror today,
Little did she know I’d been through the same.

I smiled at the girl in the mirror today,
And although I’m not sure why,
I smiled at the girl in the mirror today,
And we both began to cry.

I smiled at the girl in the mirror today,
It seemed a simple deed.
I smiled at the girl in the mirror today,
But to smile was to succeed.

I smiled at the girl in the mirror today,
We are no longer at odds.
I smiled at the girl in the mirror today,
We seem to have dropped our facades.

I smiled at the girl in the mirror today,
And at first, I didn’t see,
I smiled at the girl in the mirror today,
She had smiled back at me.

I smiled at the girl in the mirror today,
And if what I viewed was true,
I smiled at the girl in the mirror today,
The repairing of our relationship was far past due.

I smiled at the girl in the mirror today,
I believe we’ll be okay.
I smiled at the girl in the mirror today,
We’ll have to take it day by day.

Bethany D. (via bitesizedbethany)
eatingdisorderconfession
the-girl-without-ed.tumblr.com

REMINDER
the-girl-without-ed

REMINDER

You were not beautiful, you were not perfect, you were not envious 
You were sick 

Your brain couldn’t function correctly 
You didn’t have nearly as many friends 
You spent your day calculating calories 
You hated exercise, but you did it anyway 
You never went out on the weekends 
You yelled at your family when you didn’t mean to 
You believed every little thing that voice in your head told you, every lie 
You were always in a horrible mood, no matter how hard you tried 
Your life revolved around numbers 
Your skin and your hair and your eyes were dead

You were not beautiful, you were not perfect, you were not envious 
You were sick

You were dying

lung-revival

Bless you. I needed this tonight.

the-girl-without-ed

you are so welcome. stay strong
lung-revival
. I’m rooting for you and I believe in you.
sickness not beauty choose recovery eating disorder recovery ed
eatingdisorderconfession
justedrecoverythings

Things people without eating disorders will never understand (trigger warning)

1. Needing to give yourself a pep-talk every time you eat a meal
2. Needing to give yourself a pep-talk every time you go to the bathroom
3. Never knowing if what you’re seeing in the mirror is real or a delusion
4. Wearing the same old clothes to shreds because you’re too nervous to try on new ones
5. Never truly being able to enjoy the taste of food, because there’s always that voice in the back of your mind whispering calories and fat content
6. That feeling of self-loathing every time you take your meds in the morning/night, because Shit I can’t function like a normal adult without being drugged
7. That raging feeling of jealousy when you see people not eating or hear them talking about their diets
8. Seeing calorie content listed on restaurant menus and wanting to burst into tears in public
9. Having to explain to your friends why you always have so many doctor appointments
10. How much it hurts when people make jokes about eating disorders or talk about them like they’re dumb fads and teen phases—like this isn’t something that haunts you every second of your life

If you’re struggling with an ED too, you’re a goddamn brave-ass fucking warrior, and you’re my hero.

Source: justedrecoverythings
bitesizedbethany-deactivated201

Step off that scale. Go eat your dinner. Get away from the mirror. Put the diet pills down. Leave the bathroom. Get off the treadmill.

the-girl-without-ed the-girl-without-ed

One behavior leads to another and next thing you know, you’re in a full-blown relapse. Remember that relapsing means

  • Having to go through weight restoration (again)
  • Wasting precious time that you’re never getting back 
  • Being miserable and sad and angry and confused all at the same time
  • Having to go (back) to treatment 
  • Causing irreversible damage to your health
  • Losing your friends’ and family’s trust
  • Isolating yourself and feeling alone 
  • Having to start this whole recovery process all over again (which will include uncomfortable bloating, stomach pains, rigid meal plans, endless tears, inner battles, and a hell of a lot more therapy)

And if all else fails you might actually 

  • Die

Please keep that in mind. It’s not “just one meal” or “just one purge,” it’s making the decision to choose between living your life or surrendering it to your eating disorder. 

So step off the scale. 

bitesizedbethany-deactivated201
We must not mourn for the bodies we once had. They were weak, empty, broken. Altogether incompatible with the size of our souls, the volume of our dreams and the abundance of our beauty. Deprived of the love we felt we, ourselves, did not deserve they reflected the pain we felt inside. But we are healing now and learning to love not only our bodies but also the incredible person who lives within. So when you look in the mirror don’t cry for the girl you no longer see. Celebrate the woman you are today. Because my God, she is so beautiful. Thank God she’s finally free.

(via balancingstatesofmind)

Thank God she’s finally free.

(via imlearning-soimleaving)

Source: balancingstatesofmind
bitesizedbethany-deactivated201
championsaremade

Although it’s a new year, that doesn’t mean your worries and struggles of 2015 magically disappear. It’s okay to still be struggling, not feeling 100%. It’s okay if you still are having trouble getting out of bed or seeing the beauty in the things around you including yourself. Stay the course, keep putting one foot in front of the other, and no matter how much you may be struggling right now, just know that it doesn’t stay this way forever. You are cherished, supported, cared for, important, and loved.

Source: championsaremade
eatingdisorderconfession
mercy-misrule

one of the most amazing things that has been said to me in therapy is that self esteem doesn’t exist.


and that floored people and the psych went onto say that what she meant was that self esteem is a concept that actually includes a vast array of things and labelling them all as one thing is really limiting and prevents actual improvement

you could have real strong pride in the things you create and hate your body

you could hate your creations but also want to share them with people

you could not hate yourself at all but not take care of yourself, engage in reckless self endangerment

thats all bundled under ‘self esteem’ but saying ‘i need better self esteem’ doesn’t mean anything

whereas if you say ‘i need to work on ways to keeping myself safe, refusing to act on destructive urges’ or ‘i want to be in a place where i believe compliments trusted people give me’

thats concrete, thats a goal.


having it said in therapy helped a lot of people in my group stop saying ‘i have low self esteem’ and start specifying about the actual issue they have

bead-bead

Wow, that is so, so helpful.

Source: mercy-misrule
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